Wedding season is upon us. For many, time and energy are devoted to planning the perfect day that will hold memories for years to come. But are couples also investing in preparing for their upcoming marriage?
If you have an upcoming wedding, what are your expectations for your marriage? Why are you getting married? What skeletons in the proverbial closet have you talked about or not? Just as there is a checklist for planning a wedding, there is also be a checklist in preparing for marriage.
So, why has this topic been on my mind lately? Well, I have been seeing clients for a number of years that take great time, energy and courage to work through trauma, grief, stress and other challenges that often stem from adverse childhood events. I absolutely love walking with people who are on their recovery journey but on the other hand I have wondered what the preventative piece to this is. Many of these wounds are incurred either directly or indirectly in the childhood home. So I figure, if we can prepare to have a healthy marriage or partnership- the soil of parenting- we can prevent some of the adverse childhood events that are becoming so common.
If couples can work on a healthy and happy marriage or partnership not only does that prevent the painful process of divorce but it can also create a great environment for raising happy and healthy children. You don’t have to wait until there are serious problems in your marriage before you work on them. You can start now.
Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that everyone’s challenges are because of “bad parenting” and I’m not saying that children cannot grow up healthy and happy if they are from a home that has experienced separation or divorce. But I am saying that it can’t hurt to be proactive about your marriage or partnership and that the benefits of this can pass down to your kids, if you choose to have them.
At Restore Counselling we would love to help you with pre-marriage counselling. So if you have recently been engaged or are in the process of planning your wedding we want to say congratulations, let the fun begin!